When last did you ask for help?

It feels like being independent and doing things alone is hardwired into my DNA. I joke with my mother that it is a family disease, as it seems like everyone in my little family is the same - so yes, I understand it is a learnt behaviour .

One Christmas my youngest niece received one of those barbie-like big headed dolls. The dolls are clipped to the cardboard background in the box they come in, clipped with bits of wire which are then sellotaped down. I watched her struggle to free this doll and then offered to help her. ‘No, she said, ‘I can do this by myself’. She then continued to struggle, fetched scissors from the kitchen and continued to try and free the doll. She did concede at some point and asked for help.

If you Google “asking for help” you will get lots of help on how to ask for help, and lists of psychological reasons as to why humans don’t ask for help. So maybe the disease is more widespread that I thought.

In a recent reset process with Karin Schimke on Love Letter (highly recommended to subscribe) I realised that I had been struggling with something for a while without asking for help. Subsequent to the realisation I reached out for help and am now feeling more in control, and optimistic about being able to make changes to deal with the issue.

When last did you ask for help? Where in your life do you need help right now?

And how can I help you?