Who am I?

Looking for work (1)

Is that an easy question to answer? For you?

I have been writing poetry since I was a child, and prose since I was a teenager. I have also been writing in journals (not always consistently) since I was fifteen. I recently spent an afternoon labelling the covers on all of my journals and writing notebooks with the months, and sometimes years, that they spanned. There were gaps in some years. Some notebooks covered more than a year, and in some years there were several journals and notebooks.

The way I have used my notebooks has changed over the years. As a teenager I wrote very cryptically in my journals, and when reading them now I have no idea of what I was writing about. Since 2004 I have added a contents page to all my notebooks. In some years I used one notebook for writing and journal keeping, in more recent years I have a poetry notebook, a prose writing notebook and also a general note keeping journal.

I like keeping a general journal as I use it for more than writing quotes and structuring writing workshops, I use it for everyday things. Including, currently, notes on my quest to find paid work. (I recently discovered Notion which has been a game changer in keeping track of roles that I am applying for and contacts I make. It is also a fabulous tool to keep track of my writing submissions).

Which brings me to my question: who am I?

In my working life (that segment of my life where I earn money that sustains my lifestyle and creativity) I work in projects in corporates. I label myself as a ‘Change Management Specialist’ which means I look after the people aspect of implementing changes in organisations. Unexpectedly in May of this year a contract that I was working on was not renewed. I have been looking for a new role since June , and nothing yet has landed. A friend of mine applied for over sixty roles before she found something. I am close to half that amount of applications - and for most of them I have not received feedback.

I have spoken to a few recruiters who say that the recruitment market is very strange (some have used the word broken) at the moment. It is a full time job to look for work - every role requires an updated CV to make sure you are covering all the aspects and skills that the role requires, plus a covering letter. It took over two hours to apply for one role because the organisation’s recruitment system did not automatically parse an uploaded CV. I had to manually enter all my experience and education. In addition to all the role applications I make, I need to be active on LinkedIn to make sure people are noticing me.

I am also looking for remote and freelance work in the same arena as my corporate skills. Those require different CVs, different platforms and different conversations.

In addition I am spending more time promoting my writing workshops and editing skills. As well as co-organising a Festival of Poetry in Cape Town, I am a freelance lecturer and MA supervisor at Rhodes University on the MA in Creative Writing.

So, who am I? I could use skill labels like organised, planner, facilitator, communicator, coach, able to make decisions, sees the bigger picture, strategist, influencer, leader, project manager. In my change specialist role these skill labels would include: stakeholder assessment, management and engagement, impact analysis, communication strategies, change plans, training strategies and plans (there are more but I don’t want to lose you). I also love research and developing new tools and ways of working in my change specialist role. In my writing and editing role labels would include: creative, writer, editor as well as facilitator; planning is also important, as is organising. Design skills as also useful.

I am all of these things and more….

My latest motto is the title of a Crowded House song ‘Don’t Dream It’s Over’, because the search for work feels interminable. And it raises a lot of questions for me about who I am, and how I should be using my skills. I am open to different ideas of what work could look for me, however the requirement in our capitalist world to earn an income and save for your old age hasn’t gone away. The work search continues in all arenas - corporate as well as creative.

I have a few particular stories I want to tell about this work search which I will share on my Substack.

I know I am behind in posting on writing prompts - but these will start again at the end of this week.

A photograph of my latest journal and a pen. Taken by me.